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Seeing Haloes

 For Anne

Even at Christmas,

when haloes

are pre-tested by focus groups

for inclusion in mass market campaigns,

they are hard to see.

 

Annie Dillard was scrutinizing

the forest floor at Pilgrim’s Creek

when she looked up

and saw a tree haloed in light.

 

She had caught the tree at prayer,

in a moment so receptive and full

the boundaries of bark burst

and its inner fire

became available for awe.

 

But seeing haloes

is more than a lucky sighting.

It entails the advent skill

of sustaining attention,

the simple act,

as Dillard found out,

of looking up.

 

That is how haloes are seen,

by looking up into largeness,

by tucking smallness

into the folds of infinity.

 

I do not know this

by contemplating

shimmering trees.

Rather there was woman,

busy at Christmas table,

and I looked up

to catch a rim of radiance

etching her face,

to notice curves of light

sliding along her shape.

She out-glowed the candles.

All the noise of the room left my ears

and silence sharpened my sight.

 

When this happens,

I do not get overly excited.

I merely allow love to be renewed,

for that is the mission of haloes,

the reason they are given to us.

 

Nor do I try to freeze the frame.

Haloes suffer time,

even as they show us

what is beyond time.

 

But when haloes fade,

they do not abruptly vanish,

abandoning us

to the sorrow of lesser light.

 

They recede,

as Gabriel departed Mary,

leaving us pregnant.

 

John Shea

 

 

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